


Sides of My Sempai's Creepiness

by DarkIceAngelFlare



Series: My Sempai is a Creepy Stalker! AU [2]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: And the stalking continues, Contest winners, F/M, Gen, M/M, Other times they're just babes, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sometimes they're just bebes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 09:51:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3846448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkIceAngelFlare/pseuds/DarkIceAngelFlare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or various extra scenarios from 'My Sempai is a Creepy Stalker (But I Kind of Like It)' written for the winners of the omake contests. From Fon's history of wooing Viper, to Hayato and Tsuna goofing off and even a jealous Reborn: there's a little bit of everything in here! Or there will be, when I get there. Warning: the first chapter might explode from excessive fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There will be monkeys

**Author's Note:**

> Written for CalmCat, who was the first winner of the first omake contest. I had waaaaay too much fun writing this. I should not have made this as long as it is (it’s almost as long as a chapter!) but I couldn’t stop. I love this pairing! They’re so cute together!
> 
> Character/Pairing Prompts: Fon and Mammon.
> 
> Other prompts (which I took great liberties with):  
> "I'm drawn to you."  
> "Huh? (saying something to that...I don’t know...)"  
> "Then should I say 'I love you'?"  
> "If I talk any longer to you the crazier I will become..."

“This is pathetic,” Verde stated. “I thought you said there would be monkeys.”

“There are,” Fon whispered. “Inside.”                                    

“So why aren’t we inside?”

Fon stared at him. “Weren’t you paying attention? Viper is in there!”

Verde stood up, causing Fon to hiss and try to drag him back into the bushes. “This is stupid,” the greenette said, skipping out of the other’s reach. “You know this family and you know this girl. I want to see the monkeys. Just because you had an epiphany or some other stupid self-realisation doesn’t mean we can’t go visit them like normal people.” Ignoring Fon’s wringing hands and despairing expression, Verde walked to the porch and rang the doorbell of the Mammon family home.

The white door opened, revealing a slim woman with long blue hair that was in the process of being tied up. An eye-patch covered one of her dark blue eyes but that didn’t lessen the kind gaze that looked Verde over as she asked, “Can I help you?”

“May I see the monkeys?” the nine-year-old responded.

One slow eye blink later, she was smiling and ushering the little boy inside, asking him for his name and how he knew about her family’s unusual pets.

“Fon told me. He was just too chicken to come see them with me,” Verde said, but talking took second place as he was introduced to the variety of creatures housed in the small menagerie. He didn’t hear the doorbell ring, or Mrs Mammon telling her daughter to answer it. If he had, he would have taken a moment to catch a glimpse of the girl Fon sighed over so often.

Meanwhile, Fon’s breath stuttered to a halt when the door was opened by a familiar hoodie-wearing girl. The smile that broke out on her mostly-concealed face did nothing to help.

“Hey, Fon! Long time no see,” Viper greeted him.

“H-Hey, Viper…” Fon’s voice trailed off, finding it hard to speak around the girl he had recently realised he was crushing on.

“Did you need something?” The hood tilted to the side.

‘So cute!’ Fon thought, blushing slightly. “Um… my friend…”

“Oh, Verde-chan?” Viper pressed a finger to her lip. “I think he’s with mummy in the menagerie. Do you wanna see him?”

“Umm… sure.”

Viper let Fon pass her before shutting the door behind her. Fon took that moment to admire the pretty pigtails her purple hair was in, and a thrill passed through him when he realised the bands holding them were the frog ones he had given her on her birthday.

“Hey, Fon,” Viper said as she walked next him. “Why don’t you come visit anymore?”

She had noticed his absence? Fon smiled shyly at her. “I guess I’ve just been busy.”

“With all your popular friends?” She turned to look at the wall. “All the girls talk about you and everyone wants to be your friend these days. Or was it always this way?”

“You’re exaggerating.” Fon’s smile grew. “Besides, you’re still the only girl friend I want.”  

“Then why don’t you hang out here anymore?” Viper stopped abruptly and faced him in the empty hallway. “Is it because I have to wear this thing now?” Her fists were clenched as she indicated her hoody.

Fon blinked. ‘Say what now?’ he thought.

“I hear what they say. That I’m ugly and contagious or that I have cooties!”

“What?” Fon grabbed her shoulders. “It’s just a rare skin condition! Everyone knows that!” He shook her for emphasis. “Who said that? I’ll set them straight!”

Viper’s hood fell and revealed her indigo eyes currently brimming with tears. “Then why?” she cried out, shutting her eyes as she turned her face away. “Why don’t you want to be my friend anymore?”

Fon’s cheeks reddened as he looked down. “It’s because I’m… I’m drawn to you.”

“Huh?” Viper looked at him, confused, but he continued to look at his feet. “What do you mean? I don’t…”

“I guess you could say...” Fon bit his lip before meeting her gaze. “I like you, Viper.”

Viper frowned, shifting slightly in Fon’s hold as his grip tightened. “Well, I like you too. We’re friends still… right?”

Fon’s cheeks darkened further. “Not like that. I _like_ like you.” Viper tilted her head in confusion. “You know, _like_ like!” There was no comprehension in the eyes he so missed looking into. He sighed. “Should I just say I love you instead?”

Viper’s eyes widened. Her face turned red. “You mean… you’re confessing to me?” she whispered, her tone almost reverent.

Fon nodded and finally let her go. “You don’t have to give me an answer right now! I just… wanted you to know.” He shuffled on the spot. “I didn’t come see you because the longer I talk to you, the crazier I become… Crazier in love, I guess you could say.” He was mumbling and babbling. Not a good combination.

“Fon, I-”

“Kufufu. Did I just eavesdrop on my daughter’s first confession?”

Fon and Viper whirled around to see Mammon Rokudo standing behind them, arms crossed with his usual trident held in one hand. Fon gulped. Although Viper’s dad was smiling with closed eyes, there was something disturbing to his normally warm expression. When his eyes opened to reveal a cold, assessing gaze still coupled with his smile, the feeling of alarm grew.

“Dad, go away.”

“Put your hood up before you break out,” was Rokudo’s reply. He never broke his stare-down with Fon.

Viper complied, then continued her argument. “I can handle this myself.”

“You’re too young for a boyfriend.” Rokudo’s glare became more pronounced as his smile fell away. “And you,” he pointed at Fon, “are too young to think you’re in love.”

“I tried saying _like_ like, but Viper didn’t get it,” Fon mumbled.

Rokudo turned to his daughter. “See? He is whimsical in his articulation of his affection. Like and love are not interchangeable. He merely wants you for the sake of his hormones. Unworthy.”

Fon flinched at being dismissed so easily. Viper bit her lip. “I don’t understand,” she said softly. “What are hormones?”

Fon shrugged. “Bugs, maybe?”

“Like cooties?”

“No, they are…” Rokudo sighed. “Look, you’re both too young for this. _I’m_ too young for this.”

“No!” Fon said suddenly. “I like Viper, whether you like it or not. That’s not going to change now, because it hasn’t changed since I met her!”

“Daddy told me boys like girls because they’re pretty. Is that the only reason you became my friend? Because you liked how I looked?”

“Not at all!” Fon tried to explain it to her. “I liked you because… you know… you were nice and you introduced me to your monkeys!”

“So if I didn’t have Lichi, you wouldn’t like me?” Viper asked crossly.

“No! It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like? How can you be sure you like me if you can’t even explain why?” Viper crossed her arms.

“I just do,” Fon said miserably.

“That’s a dumb reason.” She turned her face away. “When you have a better reason, we will talk.” She walked off.

Fon looked at his feet, misery and despondency rising in his chest.

Rokudo’s tone was cheerful as he said, “Sensible. Just like her mother.” Fon sniffed in reply. “Hey, cheer up.” Rokudo hunched down next to Fon. “You’re young. You have many years ahead for both of you to fall in and out of love.”

“I’ll never love anyone other than Viper.” Fon rubbed at his eyes which had started to burn.

He heard Viper’s father sigh and then warm arms hugged him. “If that proves to be true, then I will accept you wholeheartedly in the future.” Fon’s shoulders shook as he tried to contain his reaction to Viper’s rejection. As if reading his thoughts, Rokuda said, “She didn’t flat-out refuse you. Girls like Viper, they want something real. Even as young as she is, Viper already knows what she wants. Now it’s up to you to be forthright with her.”

“What does ‘forthright’ mean?”

“When you can answer her honestly and sincerely, in a way that makes sense to her, then she will accept you. I guarantee it.”

“Thank you.”

Rokudo didn’t reply but that was okay. Fon stayed in his embrace until his emotions were under control again and then he went to see the monkeys. Viper wasn’t around, but that was okay too. It was up to Fon to bring her out of her shell, and so he would. No matter what it took.


	2. Silly Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayato and Tsuna at their usual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Antigone1Evenstar, the second winner of the first omake contest.  
> Character prompts: Tsuna and Gokudera  
> Theme: being dorks (although I did have the option to be serious. Might write that another day...) 
> 
> Just google the ink test if you want to see the images. I went in order :)

“I feel robbed.”

Hayato raised his eyebrow at Tsuna’s exclamation.

“I never got the images!”

“What are you talking about?” Hayato asked, picking up a piece of chicken with his chopsticks. 

“Byakuran never showed me those ink blots,” Tsuna explained. His fluffy head stuck out of his blankets, displaying his reddened nose to the bright glare of the screen. His voice sounded strange as he continued, “They’re the only thing I looked forward to when I first went!”

“The Rorschach inkblot test? Those things are useless.”

Tsuna pouted at the screen. “I still wanted to do it. Everyone does them!”

“I didn’t.”

“Deprived!” Tsuna flopped down onto his pillows, muffling the rest of his speech.

“How much cough syrup have you had?”

Tsuna’s reply was unintelligible.

Hayato’s corresponding chuckle was cut off by a curse as his fumbling chopsticks dropped the meat. “How the fuck do you eat with these things?”

“It’s automatic. Like you and your cutlery.”

“Anyone can work out how to use a fucking knife and fork. You just have to stab and cut. Chopsticks on the other hand…” Hayato glowered at the wooden sticks in his hand.

“Even babies can do it,” Tsuna said, grinning as his friend’s expression darkened. “Why are you using them anyway? You’re not eating from that weird Chinese restaurant again, are you? You got sick from the food there last time! And it wasn’t even real ramen!”

“No, I’m just practising. For when I come to Japan to see you,” Hayato explained, readjusting the chopsticks.

“I’ve been saving up for that.” Tsuna smiled as he opened his drawer, digging around in it until he found a small notebook. “I finally have enough to take you and Haru to Takesushi!”

“You don’t have to-!” Hayato shut up when Tsuna glared at him. “Fine. That’s that fancy sushi place your mom took you to last year, right?”

“It’s not fancy but yeah. We went to celebrate-”

“-the one year anniversary of her divorce. I remember.”

“The food’s really good, and the staff are very friendly.”

Hayato smiled and changed the subject. They were halfway between deciding whether they should plan for a weekend trip to Tokyo or to Kyoto when Hayato was interrupted. A girl with dark pink hair entered the frame, speaking in rapid Italian of which Tsuna only understood about ten words. She seemed interested in Tsuna though, gesturing at the screen and shoving her face closer to the camera. Hayato pushed her away though and yelled something, which led to a fight and her storming off.

“Your sister?” Tsuna asked and received a grimace.

“Half-sister,” Hayato said shortly and Tsuna wondered if he would insist on the difference if he was in Hayato’s position. “She wanted to know if you were my boyfriend.”

Tsuna laughed. “I would think the answer was obvious.”

“We’re obviously in a bromance.” Hayato nodded.

“And you’re way out of my league.”

“What?” Hayato scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You could totally be a model! Hell, if you were in Japan, you’d be a model already. And you’re smart. And you’re rich.” Tsuna began to list Hayato’s qualities. “You can play the piano and you have great taste in music. You manners are excellent and –”

“You’re the nicest person I know,” Hayato interrupted. “You’re a great cook, you have excellent manners and you are the human equivalent of a bunny. You’re totally moe, you’re easy to talk to and you never judge anyone. You have awesome taste in friends and –”

“I bet you’re a great kisser,” Tsuna said loudly, his face a massive red blush. “You probably have girls and boys hanging off you. You cool and—”

 “You’re probably a great cuddler,” Hayato said even louder, his face also reddening. “The only reason people don’t hug you to death is because they’re stupid and jealous. You’re surprisingly athletic and you –”

“You are absolutely passionate about the things you love!” Tsuna yelled.

“You’re loyal to a fault!”

“You’d never cheat!”

“You’d make them your whole world!”

Two bangs echoed over the speakers and Bianchi faced off against her brother while Nana frowned at Tsuna.

“Tsu-kun, are you and Hayato having a fight?” Nana asked, ignoring the loud Italians on her son’s computer screen.

“No, we’re just arguing about whether Hayato’s out of my league.”

“Of course he isn’t! You could have any boy you wanted!” Nana reassured him and Tsuna smiled plastically at her.

“My sentiments exactly!” Hayato said, having pushed his sister away again.

“Tsu-kun, you have all of the qualities necessary in a boyfriend.”

“That’s what I said too!” Hayato chipped in.

“I mean, your ass looks better than mine and I’ve always been complimented on it. No one can resist you if you tried, Tsu-kun.” Nana smiled as she left the room.

“That was waay too much information!” Tsuna said, shoving his face into his pillow. “I’m too sick to deal with my mother’s weirdness.”

“Well, I maintain that I would date you.” Hayato picked up his cooling food.

“I would date you too,” Tsuna replied.

“Good, now show me your ass.”

“What?”

“Your mum said you have a really nice ass. As your best friend, it’s only right that I make sure she’s not just being nice.”

Tsuna rolled his eyes and turned around so his friend could view his posterior. Upon Hayato’s instruction, he bend over and stood straight several times.

“Looks okay to me, but Haru says it really looks a lot better when you’re not in pjs.”

Tsuna turned around, absently cupping his butt to see what made it so special. “I think it’s normal.”

“We can test this when you’re not sick. Back in bed.”

“Yes, Doctor,” Tsuna mocked as he did as instructed. “Where were we before we got distracted?”

“Tokyo or Kyoto.”

“Screw it; let’s do both.”

They made a few more plans before Hayato suddenly held up a picture. “What does this look like to you?”

“Two people holding hands over a fountain. Why?”

“Really? I thought it looked like a skull.” Hayato made a note on a piece of paper. “You’re the one who wanted to do this test, so here we are.”

Tsuna laughed delightedly as Hayato showed him another picture. “You’re the best, Hayato! And that’s a beheading.”

“Why, thank you, and I agree. Actually, it looks like the aftermath of a bombing, with two lovers holding hands while they’re missing legs and heads. This one?”

“Two guys taking their hats off to each other.”

“Ever heard the Greek myth about soul mates and how Zeus separated them? That’s what I see.”

“I think you explained it to me the other day. Oh, this one looks like a guy in a big coat with giant feet glaring at me.”

“It’s a really demonic skull to me. See the horns?”

“Oh, I sort of see that now. This one looks like a butterfly that’s been pinned down. Probably dead.”

“I see a guy with giant guns.”

“This is an instrument of torture.”

“Ships to me.”

“Some kind of necklace?” Tsuna squinted at the next image.

“Looks like a woman giving birth,” Hayato said, before showing the last three.

“That’s a guy getting ready to fight, that’s a snobby horse talking to another snobby horse and the last looks like insects trying to build something.”

“I see an x-ray, two angry dogs and the last is two people being tortured by insects.”

“And your conclusion, doctor?” Tsuna asked with a grin.

Hayato considered the information in front of him before holding it up for Tsuna to see. “You’re a creatively repressed person who sees beauty in everyday things but you suffer from the attitude of people around you, which is normally violent. You’re a romantic but you feel like it will end in doom, signified by the insects building something pointless and the beheading. You’re also very polite and you’re afraid of authority.”

“That’s true, but also bullshit.”

“Is it?” Hayato asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re biased because of your knowledge about me.”

“And Byakuran wouldn’t be?” Hayato scoffed. “Here’s my answers: you can give me your diagnosis.”

“You’re a romantic looking for your soul mate,” Tsuna said immediately, causing his friend to laugh. “But you also think love is very painful. Alternatively, you could think your dad would interfere with your romance. You like skulls, but that could also be a sign of depression. You like action, you’re intellectually inclined and you want to go on a journey.”

“Correct on all accounts, doctor. See what I mean about this test being a fallacy?”

“I’m sure it works when pros do it.”

Hayato rolled his eyes. “You feel like watching a movie?”

“ _How to Train Your Dragon_!”

“Again?”

“Yeah! You’re my Toothless, Hayato!”

“Fine, but you’re the Robin to my Batman.”

“Acceptable. Now let’s watch!” Tsuna split his screen and started the movie. “Bet I know more lines than you.”

Hayato’s eyes lit up at the challenge. “Winner gets to spoil a series for the other person. I pick _The Mentalist_.”

“Damn you!” There was no heat in Tsuna’s words. “Just because I fell behind one season. I pick _The Blacklist_.”

“I already saw the end. Caught up yesterday.”

“ _Gotham_?”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

The movie started amidst their bickering.


	3. The Excuse of the Monkey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can I just die from how cute Viper, Fon and Kyoya are in this chapter? xD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for LazyCoffee, who was one of the AO3 winners of the first omake contest and is one of my favourite reviewers here. I hope you like it!
> 
> Character prompts: Fon, Viper and Chrome.  
> ...
> 
> You guys have no idea how much research was required for this chapter. I think I spent three whole days trying to decide what type of monkey Lichi was. Not to mention researching hedgehogs' pregnancies and trying to find the right shade for everyone's hair. Bloody illusionists... Nevertheless, this is extremely fluffy. I apologise for Kyoya's prominent role in this, but I regret nothing!

“It’s going to be okay, Kyoya.” Fon patted his little brother on his head. Kyoya sniffed but otherwise ignored him, staring at the shut door in front of him. Fon pouted and then glanced at his mother. She was too busy hissing at her phone to notice.

“I don’t care! He is your son and frankly, I’m sick and tired of having to look after him because you want to go gallivanting around the globe! This is the last time I’m helping you out!” A pause, with Ms Huang listening to Ms Hibari speak before the former continued. “How dare you! You have no right-” She fumed when Kyoya’s mother cut her off again. Fon noticed Kyoya was shrinking into himself. “Do you honestly think I care what Alaude wants anymore? He doesn’t give a shit about the kids and I’m done trying to make up for that! No, you listen! I should not have to drag myself out of bed whenever _your_ son has a crisis to deal with. So what if you’re after some criminal mastermind? No one asked you to open your legs for my ex-fiancé!”

“Mum!” Fon interrupted. “Can you talk somewhere else?”

His mother rolled her eyes but complied, adjusting her nightgown as she walked out of the living room.

“Sorry about her,” he told Kyoya, but the quiet boy continued to look at the door. ‘This is so awkward,’ Fon thought. “What are you doing for your birthday? Five’s a big number!”

“Don’t come.” Kyoya’s voice was soft. “We’re not family.”

“We’re brothers,” Fon insisted.

“Half-brothers.”

Fon had nothing to say to that and the conversation died. He turned his attention to his surroundings, still amazed that his mother knew the local vet well enough to be invited to her house just so Kyoya could have his pet hedgehog looked at. Admittedly, it had seemed serious. Poor Roll had been unable to move and had whimpered the entire drive here. Fon was kind of proud of his mother. She hated Kyoya’s whole family but when their housekeeper had called, she had immediately volunteered to take care of the situation.

“Family is important,” she had told him when they had gotten into the car. “I’m just being a good Chinese. Otherwise Grandpa will nag.”

Grandpa was scary when he was mad. So was his mother when she was worried, and her driving always suffered for it. Fon had never been so happy to escape the car as he had been tonight.

The door to the home surgery opened, capturing both boys attention. The woman who had answered the door earlier walked out, her violet dark with fatigue as she brushed away some grape-coloured strands of hair and smiled at them.

“Is Roll okay?” Kyoya asked, his voice wavering slightly.

“We’re still busy,” she replied, and Fon noticed that she had a strange accent. “It seems Roll was pregnant.”

Kyoya frowned. “What does that mean?”

“There are going to be some baby Rolls soon.”

“Is that why she eats so much?” Kyoya’s eyes were wide.

“Probably, yes.” She glanced around. “Is your mother around?”

“She’s taking a phone call,” Fon said when Kyoya didn’t respond.

The woman hesitated and then said, “I’ll be back in a moment.” She walked away, going up a flight of stairs even though Fon’s mother had not.

“Are you going to keep the babies?” Fon asked Kyoya, who frowned as he settled back into his original position.

“She didn’t say Roll was okay,” was all the reply Fon got for his trouble.

Minutes passed in silence and then the woman’s footsteps approached.

“It’s going to take a while,” she said when she had their attention. “Roll’s birthing is a bit complicated and she hasn’t been to a vet for a while, am I right?”

Kyoya’s lips trembled. “Is it my fault?”

“Oh, honey, no,” she said, kneeling next to him and cupping his face gently. “You did a wonderful job of looking after her. These things happen, but I’m going to do my best to get her through this, okay?”

Kyoya nodded.

“Good.” She stood up again. “There’s no point in you worrying out here, so why don’t you go with my daughter to see some of the other animals we have?” She smiled prettily. “It’s practically a jungle out there, am I right, Viper?” When there was no response, the woman turned around with a small frown. “Viper?”

“Coming, Mummy!” a high-pitched voice replied, and pattering footsteps revealed a girl dressed in a royal blue nightie that matched her eyes, while rich lavender hair hung to her shoulders. Her heart-shaped face broke into a bright smile that revealed a missing canine. “Hi! I’m Viper!”

Fon smiled as the woman completed the introductions. “I’m sure the three of you will get along just fine,” said the woman as she re-entered the surgery. Kyoya stared forlornly at the door as if it had betrayed him by closing.

“Here.” Viper thrust out her hands, offering them a small juice box each. Fon accepted his graciously, but Kyoya ignored the drink. Fon was ready to apologise to the girl when she walked over and put her arm around Kyoya’s shoulders. “My parents are the best,” she told him sternly. “You don’t have to worry.”

Kyoya’s grey eyes latched onto her. “What if Roll dies?”

Fon felt annoyed that Kyoya chose to speak to this Viper girl yet ignore him.

“My parents won’t let her.” Viper’s confidence was strong and Kyoya seemed to latch onto it.

He hesitantly took the juice box from her and poked it open. “Thank you,” he said softly.

Viper beamed. “Do you wanna see some of our pets? We have lots of pets.”

“Want Roll,” Hibari said around his straw.

Viper took that in for a moment. “Roll’s a hedgehog, right?” Hibari nodded. “Well, have you ever seen a baby hedgehog?”

“Roll’s having babies now.” Hibari looked sadly at the door again.

“Come play with our baby hedgehogs then. We have three!” Viper clapped her hands together.

“Roll was a baby when dad gave me her.” Hibari sipped on his juice. “Don’t want more hedgehogs. Just Roll.”

Viper pouted, looking as if she didn’t know how to proceed. Fon decided to help her out. “Can I see your pets?” he asked. “Kyoya can wait here if he wants to.” ‘Since he’s being a bum,’ he added mentally.

Viper brightened and grabbed his hand. “Sure!” she said cheerfully, pulling him towards the double glass doors.

Halfway through opening them, a scuffle of feet told Fon that Kyoya had decided to join them. “Don’t wanna be alone,” his little brother mumbled. At least he was tagging along. Viper seemed happier for it too.

A flick of a switch caused fairy lights to illuminate the back garden. Viper led them along a stone path to a glass building sitting among swathes of lush lawn and irises. The frosted glass rose menacingly before the two brothers and Fon surreptitiously shuffled closer to Kyoya. Viper didn’t seem to notice.

“Welcome!” Viper said once the door was open, stretching her arms out to encompass the variety of pens illuminated by the automatic dim lighting. She began to chatter eagerly, explaining where to find what animals while the screeching and hissing noises of awakening animals began.

Kyoya perked up slightly, looking around in interest but Fon felt slightly unnerved. Viper led his little brother to a small cage containing the baby hedgehogs she had promised. Kyoya seemed to forget about the rest of them as he played with the small – and admittedly rather adorable – living balls of quills.

“Do you not like animals?” Viper asked when Fon merely glanced at the variety of creatures without approaching any.

Fon hurriedly assured her that, while he was not overly fond of them, he did enjoy animal company upon occasion. Viper looked at him with a pout – as if unable to imagine someone who wasn’t a complete animal lover – before offering to introduce him to the menagerie’s occupants. She led him past rabbits, guinea pigs, snakes iguanas, skunks, polecats and birds, including an African Grey that greeted him with a heavily accented “konnichiwa!”

“Mummy and Daddy are zoologists,” Viper explained, “so we have lots of rare animals.”

They walked through a door into a larger enclosure. The pens were much larger here and Fon started to wonder how much space the foreign family had devoted to this. The girl pointed out some lemurs, llamas, an alpaca, tiger cubs and foxes before mentioning an aquarium in the basement, kittens in the house, a Siberian dog in the garden and horses in a stable outside of town.

“Wait here,” Viper instructed him, and disappeared.

Something began to growl and Fon freaked out. “Viper?” he called and got no response. Shivering, he glanced around and latched eyes with a fox. Its dark eyes glinted malevolently. Fon whimpered, then scrambled back to Kyoya, where the animals were small and cute.

His little brother made quite the sight. In the space of a few minutes, he had managed to unleash a whole host of animals that were now crowded around him. The young hedgehogs were still crawling around him, but Kyoya’s lap was occupied by three hand-sized brown rabbits while several fluffy yellow birds roosted on his shoulders and in his hair. Some kind of snake was sleeping on his leg and a Shetland pony was nipping at his clothes.

It was the most bizarre sight Fon had ever seen. The only thing that kept him from scolding Kyoya was the smile on Kyoya’s face as he played with the animals.

“I told you not to move,” came Viper’s voice.

“I was worried about my brother,” Fon replied. Kyoya didn’t even frown at the mention of their fraternal bond; he must really be enamoured by the creatures. “Sorry about the mess.”

Viper glanced around but didn’t seem annoyed. She turned to him instead. “Here,” she said and thrust a small creature at him. A pale pink face stared up at him as Fon took the little primate into his arms. “His name is Lichi. He’s a Colobus monkey. Daddy got him for me when we moved here two months ago.”

Lichi’s white fur was soft to the touch, and his warm body smelled like damp earth. The little monkey was eager to play, climbing all over Fon and even onto his head. Eventually, Fon managed to capture it again and laughed as he cuddled it.

“Do you want to play with him?” he asked Kyoya, who immediately held out his hands.

However, the excitable creature made Kyoya’s brow furrow and Fon soon took Lichi back. The monkey was quite happy to play with him, causing Viper to smile and explain to him some tricks that Lichi knew.

“You both can come visit whenever you like,” Viper said. “We moved here a few months ago, so we don’t get many visitors.”

“Must be lonely,” Fon replied as Lichi crawled back on his head. “Where are you from?”

“Italy.” Viper shrugged. “I miss my friends. I can’t even talk to them anymore.”

“Well, I could be your friend,” Fon said shyly. Did girls mind being friends with boys? Fon had never had a female friend before.

“Really?” Viper’s whole face lit up. “We could be best friends!” She bit her lip. “Unless you don’t want to be?”

“I’ve never had a best friend before,” Fon confided.

“I could… be your first?” Viper suggested.

“Okay then!” Fon offered his pinky. “We’ll be best friends forever!”

Viper accepted. “And ever!” she added solemnly.

“Well, you guys look busy,” came a low voice.

Kyoya and Fon jumped but Viper just smiled. “Hey Daddy!”

A strange man with mismatched eyes was standing in the doorway, staring amusedly at the mass of animals frolicking free from their cages. “Viper, please put them back,” he said as he walked out the door.

Fon and Kyoya stood up to help but Viper waved them away, telling them to go back to the living room. “I’m not in trouble,” she said, noticing Fon’s worried look. “But you should go check on Roll.”

Kyoya was out the door in a heartbeat. Fon hesitated more before choosing to follow his half-sibling. If Roll died, Kyoya would need him more than the sweet girl with a penchant for animals. Not that Kyoya would ever admit it…

With such musings in his head, Fon followed Kyoya’s haphazard race back to the door behind which was his beloved pet. Fon’s mother was back, talking quietly to Viper’s mother until Kyoya skidded to a stop in front of them, panting slightly.

“Roll’s fine,” the woman said before Kyoya could ask. “I can show you her, but you can’t touch her just yet. She and her babies need to spend some time getting to know each other before she will be friendly again to outsiders.”

Kyoya nodded and the woman opened the door. Viper’s father was inside and led Kyoya by the hand to go see his hedgehogs. Fon remained outside.

“Fon, would you like to stay the night?” his mother asked, fatigue showing in her tone. “Chrome said that Roll needs to stay overnight, so Kyoya will probably sleep here.”

Fon nodded eagerly, although he guiltily knew he was staying more for Viper’s company than Kyoya’s sake. His mother bade him and the woman – Chrome, was it? – good night before leaving. She said nothing to Kyoya but that was expected.

* * *

 

Fon woke in the morning to an empty bed. Kyoya had already vacated the guest room they had been given, probably to go check on Roll. After Fon had brushed his teeth, he rushed out the room and nearly sent him and Viper falling down the stairs when she came to wake him up.

Breakfast was held in the backyard’s sunshine, where Fon reacquainted himself with Lichi. The cheerful monkey spent an hour stealing Fon’s food and giving it to Viper, before turning tail and doing the same to his master. Accordingly, the meal took longer than it should have but Fon’s smile never dampened.

He had never had a friend like Viper before. His only two friends were both strange. One spent most of his time talking to his alligator plushie in complex terms that gave Fon a headache, and the other liked to tackle him unexpectedly with pillows or challenge him to different contests. They weren’t bad on the rare occasion they got along (like the time they built a pillow fort and pelted invaders with sock ammunition) but Viper was so much nicer. She was all smiles and brightness, with occasional shy gazes and a bit of conversational stumbling until she found a topic that he knew enough about to participate.

Sometime in the middle of their debate about who was the coolest character in _Space Jam_ , Fon’s mother came to collect him and Kyoya. Kyoya went willingly, carefully cradling the cage filled with Roll and her little Rolls, but Fon’s feet dragged on the way to the car. Lichi clung to his head while Viper walked alongside, laughing as she tried to convince her pet to let go.

‘Do I have to go?’ Fon wondered inwardly, staring in dismay at the open car door. He reluctantly pulled Lichi off him and turned to deposit him in Viper’s arms.

“Will you come visit again?” Viper said immediately, her bottom lip trembling slightly.

“Of course!” Fon’s breath left him in a relieved rush. “We’re best friends, after all.”

Viper made a sound of assent before tackling him in a hug that sent them sprawling onto the floor. Her mother laughed as she helped them to their feet again and rescued the indignant monkey.

“Don’t be gone too long!” Viper said, scuffing the ground with her shoe. “Lichi will forget you otherwise.”

Fon shut the car door and leaned out from the window. “I won’t,” he promised. “I don’t want Lichi to get lonely.”

Viper smiled shyly as she turned away.

Fon only managed to go two days before rushing back to see Viper. For many years, that was the longest he went without talking to her.


	4. The One with the Kitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for Hweianime, the third winner of the first omake contest.
> 
> Character/Pairing prompts: Xanxus, Tsuna and Reborn
> 
> Other prompts: X27 familial friendship, Reborn's jealousy, attempted sabotage and stalking.
> 
> Warnings: swearing and sexual implications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omgiotto, finally! This chapter took FOREVER because I had no ideas and then no inspiration and do you know how hard it is to find resources on how to sabotage someone's date? Google was no help and I could only take so much teenage TV drama before deciding to skip it out. I hope you like it despite it all, Hweianime, and I hope you don't mind the XS! I just couldn't help myself, even though it wasn't your prompt :(
> 
> Anyway, shout-out to everyone who reads, subscribes, bookmarks and/or kudos this and 'My Sempai is a Creepy Stalker'. Huge thanks to my commentors from the last chapter, namely EmptySurface and we_should_all_be_sleeping. 
> 
> Happy New Year, everyone! May 2016 be the year of faster updates, better anime and lots of shipping :D I have another 9 awards still to go before I'm caught up, so I hope you're looking forward to it!

 

Xanxus would never admit that he liked baking. It wasn't that he was ashamed of it (who gave a fuck about other people's opinions?) but he kept it a secret anyway. Squalo would probably be an ass about it and the other trash he spent time with would probably become permanent tenants in his house if they tasted his work. As it was, it was hard enough keeping the fuckers away from his consoles and out of his personal bar and Xanxus was nothing if not lazy as shit.

There were some people who knew of his gift: two of them actually. It was necessary, considering one of them was his teacher and the other his taste-tester. Though they were only distantly related, Nana and Tsuna had always treated him well and the number of times he had stayed with them was innumerable. Then again, they were idiotically nice people with a tendency to pick up strays… How the fuck Iemitsu had managed to screw things up with them was still a mystery to Xanxus.

The familiar steel gate was open (because Nana was naively trusting) and the red door was as inviting as ever. Casting a glance down the street to make sure he wasn't followed (Bel got bored easily), he entered the yard and shut the gate behind him, pulling out his key as he approached the door. The door opened easily and, while entering, rusty words tumbled from his lips: "Tadaima."

There was a squeak, some murmuring and the sound of a chair being hastily shoved backwards. Xanxus paid it no mind, too busy removing his shoes. He noticed a new pair and wondered who his quirky family had 'adopted' now.

"Okaeri, Xanxus!" Tsuna smiled from the doorway to the kitchen.

"Tsuna," Xanxus greeted, his eyes raking over his cousin's form to clue him in on how Tsuna's first year of high school was going. He inwardly sighed when he noticed the lack of visible bruising, though experience had taught him not to judge too early when it came to his cousin's bullies. "I brought cake."

Tsuna's eyes lit up in excitement but before he could rush forward to see Xanxus' creation, a voice echoed from the kitchen, "Oi, Dame-Tsuna! Get your ass back here!"

Rage swirled insipidly through Xanxus' veins at the nickname his cousin had been forced to bear. "Who the fuck was that?" he snarls, his free hand reaching for his BB gun. The bullets may be fake, but they packed a punch and Nana would get mad if he pulled his knife in her kitchen.

"Ah, it's just my tutor! He means it in a good way!" Tsuna said hurriedly, already backing away as if Xanxus' anger was a tangible thing.

"There is nothing good about calling you good for nothing!" Xanxus stalked past his protesting cousin, his airgun out and loaded.

There was a stranger in a goatee and fashionable spectacles, the dark plastic rims highlighting his dark eyes. Xanxus glared at him, carefully placing his cake tin down and then drawing a matching gun in his other hand. "You're a sorry excuse for a tutor," he said bluntly.

The stranger raised one eyebrow. "You've never seen me teach."

"Your beard is as fake as fuck and you called Tsuna 'no good'. Fuck you, you piece of trash."

"Ah, Xanxus, don't say that!" Tsuna waved his arms around, trying to distract his cousin. "He just talks like that but he's been more helpful than all my other tutors combined. Please don't chase him away!"

Xanxus snarled something vicious in response. The tutor began looking pretty pissed.

"Ah, what's that bandage for? Did you get hurt, Xanxus?" Nana asked, entering the room from behind her son.

"EH? You're injured?" Tsuna gasped, eyes widening comically and that's when Xanxus put away the guns. There was no point trying to start a fight when the Sawadas turned their worried-and-slightly-disappointed puppy eyes on you.

"Tch, eat the cake," he said and sat down for their fussing.

* * *

The cake was a four layer delicacy bound together with peanut butter mouse and topped with a chocolate cherry glaze. Tsuna and Nana praised it endlessly, and Tsuna – claiming that Xanxus' injured arm shouldn't be used - personally fed Xanxus his slice.

Reborn quietly seethed at the domestic scene unfolding before him. The red-eyed stranger hadn't even introduced himself but it was pretty apparent that he was close to the family. And to Tsuna. Especially to Tsuna.

Tsuna suddenly beamed and leaned into Xanxus' (what kind of shitty name was that?) space, hand outstretched to snap a selfie. Xanxus rolled his eyes but put an arm around Tsuna's waist regardless.

"Ara? Boreen-san, you can go now. Xanxus doesn't come by too often, but when he does, he steals all of Tsuna's attention!" Nana's smile added an extra turn to his already churning gut.

"See you tomorrow," Reborn said, gathering his stuff together and walking towards the door.

He had a feeling that none of them had really noticed his departure.

* * *

This was the second day that Tsuna had blown him off, with little warning and no explanation. However, Reborn could read between the lines. _'Hey, have stuff planned today so can we reschedule for Monday?'_ clearly meant that Xanxus needed to be taught a lesson about leaving Reborn's belongings alone.

After discovering Bermuda's betrayal earlier that day (he was drinking coffee even after Reborn banned it! Worse still: it was a _honey latte_ ), Reborn decided to enact his revenge solo this time. His preliminary research had already revealed who Xanxus was, his relation to Tsuna and his current residence (among other less savoury things) but it still took Reborn another hour and several flirtatious phone calls to find him.

Xanxus was in an animal shelter – with Tsuna. He was considering some puppies – with Tsuna. He was also far too close to Tsuna, even ruffling Tsuna's hair on occasion. Tsuna just laughed, not even bothering to fix it or look annoyed as he did whenever Reborn did it.

Oh, it was on.

In the time it took Reborn to change into a suitable outfit, Xanxus and Tsuna were leaving the building with a black kitten.

"You sure this thing has all its shots? I don't want its disease-ridden body fucking my shit up."

"That's why we came here. They really look after the animals, so don't worry about it."

Is Tsuna always so damn chatty?

"Ooh, look, this place is perfect!"

"Hell no," Xanxus snapped. "Flowers are for funerals only. Besides, that's cheesy as fuck."

"I thought you wanted to do this right?"

"There's right and then there's trashy clichés. What else?"

"Cake!"

"What about that shop Nana was talking about?"

"Good idea!"

Reborn slyly walked up to the happy couple as they were nearing the shop entrance and purposefully bumped into Xanxus on his way inside the cake store. As far as petty revenges go, it was a slow start made even slower by Tsuna restraining Xanxus (and his trigger-happy hands, not that those pathetic airguns could touch Reborn) but it was merely the build-up.

By the time Bermuda called to say supper was ready, two tables inside the cake shop was on fire, Tsuna was red-faced, Xanxus was throwing up in a pot plant and the manager was trying to get the kitten off the ceiling fan with minimal success. That was not even counting the fact that half the patrons that were fleeing the establishment were covered in whipped cream or that one window had broken from the force of too many BB bullets.

Reborn was ready to call this mission a success, except Tsuna wouldn't cooperate. The brunette was supposed to be ashamed of his companion, disgusted with Xanxus' actions and leave the place enraged, as he so often did whenever Reborn annoyed him. Instead, Tsuna was rubbing Xanxus' back and soothingly telling him to breathe, as if the older boy was having a panic attack and not the carefully planned food poisoning that Reborn had paid Scorpion so well for.

"We'll go look at another place on Wednesday. And we'll get the cat down and by tomorrow, he will calm enough again."

Xanxus laughed bitterly as he wiped his mouth off. "Whatever. This was a fucking waste of time. Can't even do this shit right with you. How am I supposed to get it when I do it for real?"

Tsuna didn't say anything but picked up a napkin from an abandoned pile of utensils and used it to wipe some of the cream of Xanxus. "Today was just… really bad luck." The brunette looked wearily at his surrounding, thankfully not noticing Reborn who was pretending to be a barista (so much coffee… He may have stolen a cup or four).

"I don't even know why I'm doing this shit. It's not worth it!"

"Don't say that!" Tsuna snapped and yes, finally, the dissolution of the bond had finally come!

Reborn couldn't wait to go home and tell Bermuda to buy him more coffee. Obviously, the miracle drink had helped this time around. It was simple bad timing that had screwed him up last time.

Except Tsuna was for some reason cupping Xanxus' face. What the hell?

"You wouldn't have come to me if you didn't think he was worth it," Tsuna said softly.

"…What if I fuck up what we have? What if I fuck him up?"

"You're worth this, no matter what your relatives say," Tsuna told his cousin firmly. "The Vongola are bastards to the core, but you can be better than that; no, you are better than that. No one is going to get hurt. Just let yourself enjoy something good for once."

The brunette's smile was sweet and Reborn coveted it for himself. Xanxus didn't seem to notice, too busy staring at his lap. Finally, the Midori High student dragged himself to his feet, slightly off-kilter from Scorpion's poison, and took Tsuna's hand.

"C'mon. I feel like staying over by you guys tonight."

"You haven't slept over in forever! I think Mum sent the futons for dry-cleaning though…"

"Since when do you mind sharing a bed?"

Reborn was never drinking coffee again.

* * *

Omake

* * *

"Trash!"

"Bastard!"

"Whoa, low blow there, Squalo," Bel said, snickering from the couch in Squalo's house he was laying on.

Xanxus growled for him to get out and Bel frowned but left with snide remarks and terrible innuendoes in his wake.

"Stay here," Xanxus ordered his boyfriend, then walked quickly back to the entrance to get his stuff, ignoring Squalo huffing about being ordered around like a dog. "If you act like a bitch, I'll treat you like one," he called over his shoulder.

"VOI, you motherf-!"

"Don't bring my family into this!"

Squalo was still fuming when Xanxus returned to the living room. Taking a deep breath (he was not going to be irrational about this. This was nothing!), he unceremoniously dumped his packages onto the coffee table. "Happy anniversary, trash."

Squalo stared at him for what felt like an age, shock clearly evident on his face. "You remembered?" he eventually asked incredulously.

Xanxus glared at him. "Is that how little you think of me, you ungrateful little-?"

"I'm not ungrateful, voi," Squalo interrupted, shifting on the couch. His gaze has becoming less wide-eyed and more… wondering. Softer. The way Xanxus liked it (although the spitting hellfire version was much sexier). "I just… you told me not to get sentimental." He glanced at the three boxes awaiting him. "If you don't want me to get attached, don't give me gifts. Isn't that how no-strings-attached is supposed to work?"

Xanxus gritted his teeth and looked away, staring at some ugly ass piece of shit furniture that Squalo's dad seemed to be obsessed with. "I don't buy gifts for whores who I just sleep around with."

"Good, because if you called me a whore, I'd rip you a new one," Squalo promised darkly.

"You know what I mean."

"Voi, I don't! Why the hell do you think I'm asking for an explanation like some shoujo manga heroine?"

"What the fuck do you want from me, trash?"

"To know why you're buying me shit for our one year anniversary!"

"Because I've never been with anyone this long!" Xanxus eventually managed to get out, rage coloring his words which gets Squalo to shut up, finally. "Because it's what normal people are supposed to do! Because everyone keeps getting on my fucking case about stupid university and all I know is that I want to go to whatever crappy school you go to!" He slammed his fist on the couch next to Squalo's head, but the silverette stared up at him without so much as a flinch. "Because you can take what I give and give me hell for it! Because I don't want to just fuck around with you anymore! Fuck, why are you such a fucking girl and need me to spell this shit out for you?"

When Squalo replied, his voice was just this side of shaky. "Because you're a complicated dickface." He clears his throat while Xanxus growls and added, "I wanna go to Tokyo. Start applying for shit already, you procrastinating manwhore."

Xanxus bent closer to Squalo, his breath fanning out some of the shorter strands of silver. "You just made me talk about feelings, trash. You better make it worth my while."

Squalo rolled his eyes. "Drop your pants. And voi, don't you dare pull out any more of my hair!"

"Fucking diva," Xanxus muttered before kissing his lover.

* * *

"Xan-kitty!"

"What? Fuck no. No cat I have to live with is getting a trashy name like Xan-kitty."

"Fuck you; it's perfect. I bet you want to give it some retarded name like Brutus instead."

There was a beat of silence.

"I bet you already had that engraved, didn't you?"

Xanxus refused to say anything.

Squalo laughed at his boyfriend's disgruntlement, despite the magic Squalo had worked on him not even half an hour before. Xanxus' current expression perfectly matched the look on the black kitten's face as Squalo petted him.

"He's going to spend half his time by me anyway, so why the fuck do you get to pick the name?"

"You tried to have our club name registered as "Useless Trash". You don't get to have an opinion on this. Besides, my gift, my fucking name."

Xanxus glared at 'Xan-kitty' while Squalo opened the second largest box. Inside was a shark-shaped flaked pastry and next to it, a chocolate strawberry shortcake with a heart drawn on red beside it.

"That's seriously fucking cliché," Squalo declared, frowning.

"You're an ungrateful shit. What's got your panties in a twist?"

Squalo said nothing, looking disappointed as he opened the smallest box. Inside was a simple note in Xanxus' scrawl: _IOU – One homemade treat after college begins._

Squalo brightened and Xanxus snorted. Yeah, he really knew the kendo champion. And the trash knew Xanxus as well, go figure…

"Why do I have to wait so long just for you to make me something? I know you bake all the time for your cousin and his mother," Squalo whined as he returned to the couch clutching the pastry box.

Xanxus absently carded his hand through Squalo's soft hair and decided not to ask how his boyfriend knew about that. "First year you get a reason to stick with me." He indicated the black fur ball. "Second year, you get a reason to live with me."

Squalo's answering kiss was as hard as Xanxus's lower body's response, but the silverette's words were much softer. "I have all the right reasons already."

 


	5. Notice Me, Sempai!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for scarlet_ rose_white, who was exceptionally creative during the first contest!
> 
> Character/Pairing prompts: Reborn/Tsuna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to LazyCoffee for your continuous support, as well as everyone who kudo'd this fic and followed it. 
> 
> I'm hoping to update either 'Transport Me' or 'My Sempai is a Creepy Stalker' by Monday, so the next update for 'Sides' will be on 20 Jan at best.

 

 

Reborn paused when he felt the gaze on him again. He was used to being the centre of attention but this time was different. This time, he recognised the person looking but he couldn't quite figure out why they had yet to approach him.

Carefully sliding the book he had been looking for out of the shelf, he turned and sauntered towards the starer in question. As he approached, the brunet hunched up behind his book to avoid notice but it was too late.

"Something you need, Tsuna?"

Reborn could almost feel the blush that broke out over Tsuna's face. Tsuna spluttered something in reply, but it was too low and halted for the older boy to make much sense of it. Placing a finger on the book still covering Tsuna's face, he forcibly lowered it. "Care to repeat that?"

"Project," Tsuna said in a rush, his gaze on the table and blush still firmly in place.

"And this is, what, research?" Reborn smirked when Tsuna nodded. "It must not be very helpful, what with you looking at me the whole time."

"You noticed?" Tsuna squawked.

"I notice everything about you," Reborn said smoothly, sliding into the chair next to Tsuna, who shivered slightly at the close proximity. "Do you want my help?"

"I-If sempai doesn't mind," Tsuna said, ducking his head.

Reborn smirked and drew the project paper closer. He blinked when he realised that it was blank except for the question written on the top. "You haven't done a thing, have you?"

Tsuna nodded miserably, still not meeting his eyes.

Reborn lightly smacked the brunet on the head. "Get to work!"

* * *

"Reborn-sempai!"

Reborn stopped midway in his argument with Fon and turned slightly to see Tsuna running up to him. The boy was panting even though school didn't start for another half hour.

"Something you need, Tsuna?"

"I, uh…." Tsuna flushed when he noticed that both Verde and Fon (as well as some of the surrounding students) had turned to stare at him. "I wanted to, um…"

"Spit it out already," Reborn said, turning to face him fully.

Tsuna bit his lip and looked away. "Nothing. Sorry, I… Forget about it." He rushed past the senior students with a reddened face.

Reborn frowned and waved his friends on. Tsuna was acting strange recently and he needed to know why.

It didn't take him long to find his kohai sitting slumped on an out-of-the-way staircase.

"Oh, you're alone," Tsuna said when Reborn sat down next to him.

"What did you want to say to me earlier?" Reborn asked bluntly. "Must have been important for you to be on time for once."

Tsuna blushed, and then pulled out a container from his bag. "I wanted to say thanks, for helping me with my project. I made you a bento."

"How sweet," Reborn teased, enjoying the sight of Tsuna's flush spreading. "I'll be sure to savour it."

Tsuna lightly clutched Reborn's shirt collar. "I mean it though," he said, eyes reflecting sincerity. "Thank you, for everything."

Reborn blinked and shifted uncomfortably. "You're welcome, Tsuna."

The senior's eyes immediately followed the upward tilt of Tsuna's lips, the memory of its velvet touch echoing in his mind. Tsuna's hand relaxed on his chest, but his kohai didn't break their connection. Was he reading this right? Either way, Reborn slowly drew closer to the brunet, watching as Tsuna's eyes fluttered shut. Their breath mingled. Tsuna's hand inched up to cup Reborn's neck. Reborn licked his lips and nearly tasted Tsuna's.

The school bell trilled viciously. The boys broke apart. Tsuna blushed furiously before running off, leaving Reborn to curse his ill-luck for the remainder of the day.

His mood was so bad that he actually resorted to reading the love notes left in his shoe locker. There was always at least four that he tossed away without a glance, but this time he rifled through all twelve until one caught his eye. The smirk on his face as he read it ensured that Fon and Verde beat a swift retreat without comment once school was over.

Reborn didn't mind. The silence gave him time to appreciate the rows of brightly blooming cherry blossom trees, their buds still whole despite the breeze swaying them. He meandered to the pool, where a figure awaited him beneath the largest pink tree of them all.

"I thought it was you," he said in lieu of greeting.

Tsuna turned to face him. "I see no reason to hide anymore." Despite his confident words, the younger boy still took a reassuring breath before continuing. "Reborn-sempai, I like you. Please go out with me!"

"Were you anyone else, this would be the part where I'd dismiss your feelings and leave."

Tsuna flinched at Reborn's harsh words, not even noticing the conditional tense and the way Reborn continued to draw closer.

"But for you, I have only one answer."

Tsuna's eyes rose to meet his own. Hope warred with despair. Honey dissolved in sable.

"What took you so long?" Reborn demanded.

Any argument Tsuna could have offered was muffled by their kiss.

* * *

'Congratulations on completing the poolside confession!'

The words were blurry.

'Chiya's affection has risen!'

A blink.

'Please schedule your next date at:

A) a theme park

B) the library

C) the botanical gardens'

Another blink.

A girl with light brown hair smiled shyly at him, holding a bento box in one hand.

Comprehension dawned.

Reborn shut his DS and tossed it onto his bedside table with a groan. He did not want to consider how realistic his dream had been, or how Tsuna had carried out Chiya's route in Reborn's head. Nor did he want to think about how alike Chiya and Tsuna were, in more than just looks. He wasn't even going to mention that he had only bought the games because of aforementioned resemblance!

Mostly, he just didn't want to think about how much he needed a cold shower.

"Damn otome games."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like how Reborn gets cock-blocked even in his dreams xD Hope you like it, scarlet_rose_white, and I'm sorry for its shortness!
> 
> I'm running a KHR secret cupid fanfic exchange if anyone is interested! You can check the details out here: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/187073/145289141/1/2016-Secret-Cupid-Valentine-Exchange-Deadline-for-entry-30-Jan-2016-Spread-the-word. 
> 
> I also started a KHR forum for pretty much anything, so I hope to see you guys on it: https://www.fanfiction.net/forum/KHR-Recs-Challenges-and-Canon-RP/187073/


	6. The Cursed Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just.... Colonnello and his weird shenanigans. Poor Tsuna T-T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for 11jaemin16, who was the sole winner of the second omake contest!
> 
> This is set in an unspecified time in the ‘My Sempai is a Creepy Stalker’ AU. I plan to try and incorporate the second additional prompt into the main story, so sorry about not focusing too much on it here O.o
> 
> I’m pretty certain I trashed Colonnello’s personality here… I’m sorry T-T I think he will grow into the sweet guy he was in manga… eventually. He’s just an inexperienced teen here, kora!

What grace… Such refined hands! The ugly yellow blazer does nothing to hide those muscular arms that could fell the strongest of men with just a single punch. And yet, her fingers are so thin, and glide so gently across the bookshelves. Oh, to be a book caressed by those hands! To be carried by her powerful limbs! To be held so close to her generous bosoms!

Colonnello sighed, a loud mushroom cloud of infatuation that slipped easily past his lips. Not that it mattered. Namimori High’s library was mostly deserted this time of day. It wasn’t even high on Colonnello’s list of places to check for Lal, but Viper was as good as they say. And now Colonnello had five more minutes to adore Lal Mirch’s gorgeous figure before hightailing it back to his school.

But while watching was all well and good – the light from the nearby window was hitting her eyes at just the right angle. A little bit more to the left and he might see what colour bra she was wearing – Colonnello couldn’t help feeling a bit unsatisfied. Was this really all he had been reduced to? He, the up-and-coming model, the confident trickster, the whatever-the-latest-trash-mag-said-about-him (it had something to do with being romantic, probably)?

Speaking of trashy magazines, the last one involving him had been very interesting. Colonnello had never needed more than his charm and good looks to get into people’s good graces, but with Lal, everything was different. Which meant new tactics, new places of inspiration. And where better than celeb magazines aimed at teenage girls?

So, jealousy is the first on the list of things to try. And today, sometime within the next five minutes, it was going to happen. He would make Lal jealous. She would see him make out with a stranger, recognise him (hopefully), and tearfully demand if it had all been a lie. And then he would comfort her (by pulling her chest against his, sigh…)!

Any second now, he would put this plan into place. Any second… Just needed another person to walk into the room.

The clock showed two minutes left. Lal was idly packing away her things, frowning down at a book. She looked so cute with her hair brushed behind her ear. He should get her a clip, so she could always look so soft and pretty, with her eyes showcased for all to drown in.

One minute left. Shit, he needed to stop daydreaming. WHY WAS NO ONE COMING? How much more money was he going to fork out for this damn informant before he’d get to implement his plan?

Lal was standing up. No, no, no, another day wasted! Maybe he should try talking to her instead…

Wait, the door was opening! A brunette walked in – weird hairstyle and flat as can be, but she would do.

No time to explain! Lal was looking in the new girl’s direction – perfect!

Colonnello rushed out from behind the shelves, towards the flustered cutie who had just dropped her bag on a table. He had amazing kissing skills, so introductions and explanations would have to wait for later. He doubted the girl would mind. Grabbing the girl by her shoulders, he spun her around and smacked their lips together.

Wow. _Soft_.

She made the cutest little gasp, and Colonnello (who had fabulous acting skills too, thank you very much) decided to put his all into the performance. His tongue slipped in, his hands slid lower and grabbed, and he emitted a soft groan as he turned slightly so that Lal would have a good view – of him.

Was she watching? He would open his eyes to check, but the girl was moving so nicely against him and he needed to make this authentic, dammit!

“Look,” the voice of his goddess called to him. She noticed him! She was following the script! Oh, sweet embrace of love is bit a moment away! “I get that people are really judgemental so you have to grab whatever place you can find, but do you mind not making out in the doorway?”

Okay, irritation was one way jealousy was expressed… Right?

“Not that I have a problem with gays, but I have gym, so… move.”

…

…

Wait.

Did she just say GAY?

Colonnello flung himself off his kissing partner, and backed away rapidly. His eyes drank in the sight of the horrified… GUY??

Sure, the brunet was short, compact and cute – especially with red lips and his clothing all messed up – but the uniform was all wrong.

“I’M NEVER COMING BACK HERE AGAIN!!” the _boy_ screeched (he even sounded like a girl; _geez_ , sexuality gods), and sprinted out the open door.

Lal raised a magnificent eyebrow and turned to him. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to upset you two.”

His eyes fell lower and lower as she walked out.

A bell rang in the distance. His phone beeped a reminder in his pocket.

Well, she spoke to him (nicely). Guess the day wasn’t a complete waste.

Next mission: talk _back_ (and no more gay revelations – or possibly pan?)!

* * *

Reborn frowned as he viewed the empty library. He told Tsuna to meet him here for tutoring during Tsuna’s free period. Was he really skipping his (utterly mundane) Japanese class for nothing?

He pulled his new water pistol from his hip holster. Guess it was time for some good old-fashion Pavlovian punishment. He dumped his bag on a nearby desk and paused.

That was Tsuna’s (ugly and still slightly chlorine-smelling) bag on the side. So he had been here.

Reborn shrugged and took a seat. Rather sadly, the pistol returned to his holster. He couldn’t exactly punish his student for needing the bathroom… could he?

While he pondered this option, his wandering eyes fell on a piece of paper sticking out of the front pocket of Tsuna’s bag. Was his brunet being bullied again?

He yanked the paper out, expression thunderous. But the words on the page made no sense.

_Heyyy,_

_Sorry about earlier. Had no idea you were a guy O.O Needed to catch that girl’s attention. Let’s both just forget about it, yeah?_

_P.S. I am totally straight._

_P.P.S. You should get a manly haircut or something._

_P.P.P.S. What lip balm do you use?_

…What exactly had happened? Reborn did not like the implications at all. Hopefully Tsuna would shed some light on this anonymous note once he returned.

Nevertheless, the pistol was back out. Maybe he should bring his BB gun next time instead? Either way, someone was in need of punishment. Nobody needed to be confused about their sexual orientation around Tsuna except for him… and maybe Tsuna.

But when the bell rang to signal the end of the period, the gun remained loaded and Tsuna remained missing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character/Pairing prompts: Reborn/Tsuna, Colonello/Tsuna
> 
> Additional prompts: Colonello kissing Tsuna in the same place as Reborn, and Reborn finding out


End file.
